Apathy

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I have become apathetic.  Not to everything–far from that.  I have become very driven when it comes to my job, my relationships, and most aspects of my life.  Where I have become apathetic is the whole immigration thing.  If you had told me this would happen three years ago, I wouldn’t have believed it.  Yet, here I am.

When we were first separated, I was upset, but hopeful.  When we were denied for the second time, I was angry but ready to do what needed to be done.  When I moved to Mexico, I was ready for the adventure, but felt more invested than ever in immigration reform.

Two years in, I am living exactly the life I want within Mexico.  I have lost all motivation to return to the US.  While I still want the laws to change, I don’t want them to change for me.  There are others out there barely making it through what immigration laws have thrown at them, and they are the only reason I still continue to speak up.  I do not consider myself to be suffering at all.  I am happy here.

I think that this apathy is part of the reason my blog has been inactive for so long.  Even though it was rarely about immigration, that was still my motivation for blogging.  For several years, immigration was a primary part of my identity.  If you met me, you knew about it soon enough.  But now I am many things before I am a victim of immigration policy.

I imagine the fire will be there again, one day.  Something will happen to make the change.  But for now, I am a wife, daughter, sister, friend, and teacher.  And happy.  I’m happy.

 

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4 responses »

  1. Chica, you are such a strong woman!!!! I was very touched by this post!! Out of all the blogs I have read about couples being separated by immigration matters you are the one that stands out the most. Your fully immersion to the Mexican culture is something a lot of greengas, I read about lack. They lived in a little bubble while in Mexico, the saddest part is to learn they dont care for the language, the people or the experience to live abroad as a whole, you are different and I respect you for that.

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